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1. |
Rain
21:05
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Finally it doesn’t just rain in my eyes
The sky shares my sorrow and I’m not alone anymore
The beauty, the sound, the smell of wet air
It’s cold, but there’s warmness deep inside
The wounds are healing,
The blood getting cleaned
For the first time a smile slinks in
A glimmer of hope after the darkest it’s been
Loneliness doesn’t hurt
Nor does the night
Life might be pain
But it’s not killing me anymore
Strolling through the woods
Inhaling it’s delicate scents
The fog surrounds me
In a cold embrace
The harmony of the water
In the rivers and puddles
A free flow of feelings
Like leaves with the wind
Autumn sun, shining
Yet softly caressing my eyes
For it can’t burn
When rain covers it’s light
The greens of the perennial trees
The sleeping deciduous
Such beauty in nature
Such beauty in nature
The crows cawing afar
Echoes of nearby death
Decayed beings
Now part of the cycle again
The tracks of boars,
Of wolves and rodents
The nests on the trees
Holes where snakes hide in
No being above
All just part of a whole
The rain brushes my hair
Like morning dew on my face
The cold drops run down
Soon they’ll just be rime ice
Hoarfrost forming from tears
Mornings of mourning life
The sting of dysphoria ever-present
Summons waves of self-hatred
While suffering is accepted
It still hurts as much
Scream to the winds your pain
Let the mountains squirm at it’s mention
All beings hiding from it
And pray nobody else ever suffers the same
A stream of empathy
The apathetic nihilism seems to cower
Feel what you must and remember
Best to be conscious and miserable
Than under control and unlike yourself
Embrace the pain for it is ours
Accept your mind as it’s the only one
Don’t allow your existence to be dictated
No-one knows how we feel and are
Take your fate into your hands
And when the road can’t go any further
Accept it’s end
Live and die the same way
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2. |
Involuntay Isolation
07:06
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Somberheid Girona, Spain
Autumnal music, nostalgia for a fictitious happiness and alternating emotional numbness with dysphoria.
I'm honestly just in fucking despair at this point.
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